Saturday, June 21, 2003

This afternoon, after another golden hour, Maria asked me what I thought happened forty years ago that brought us together. She wondered that "it was meant to be."

I smiled, and thought back to those early days. She was shy, graceful, and quiet. She would look at me with a Mona-Lisa smile that drew me to her, while she tried to push me away. She was intelligent and beautiful. But she was exotic. She lived very much within herself. Sensual and yet in her innocence she reminded me of a fawn at the verge of the forest, watching, knowing.

There was no resisting her.

I couldn't put my finger on it. The French have a phrase je ne sais quoi.

Maria always ineffable and so ineluctable.

mek
Gross asks me:

"Just wondering about the significance of the story about the waitress who killed her husband for cheating. I fight every day to understand. The meaningful friendship allows an honest exchange of ideas in this pursuit. "

Friday, June 20, 2003


So, I seem to be okay, no heart attack as of yet, and Maria and I went to see a movie. (not a film)

Movie: Belly laughs, tears in my eyes:

Maria and laughed most of the way through "The In-Laws," Albert Brooks and Michael Douglas.

Candice Bergen playing Douglas' aging hippie wife is a dream and is as fetching as ever.
Just did a longer than usual workout on the treadmill, 50 minutes at 4 mph or so, and then came up for a shower. While bending over to put on my shoes I felt something in my chest. Is this it? Am I having a heart something? Did I over-do it?

Well these are the considerations: too much trouble to go to the doc to find out. Even more trouble to go to the emergency room. And then there is the insurance angle.

I think that we are covered for the EM but not for a private doc who would send me to the EM anyway, because that's where all the equipment is.

Well, we are going north on Sunday by Amtrak. Ill wait to see Dr. Kerpin, he knows me and is a cardiologist.

It's just too much trouble--stupid right?

In the meantime, working out makes me feel great. I need the sweat, that tired-relaxed feeling that comes over my body.

I am listening to Tibetan Chanting now on a CD.

Should I join an ashram?



Genocide: A case may be made that the first genocide was God's killing of the first born Egyptians. Since then genocide has been a popular method of taking control of land or getting rid of neighbors.

The twentieth century has seen plenty of genocidal terrors--starting early in the century with the Turkish eradition of the Armenians. Americans stood by and allowed it to happen, denying all the time that it was happening, in spite of Ambassador Morgenthau's warnings, protests, and pleadings with our congress. We wanted to maintain a delicate relationship with the Otttoman Empire and so we said nothing. We've always found diplomatic or policy rationalizations for ignoring humanity in need.

Thursday, June 19, 2003

I just noticed that I am

reading:
Man Without Qualities
and have seen the following two movies in the past month:
Man on a Train
and
Man Without a Past

This is a lot of Men.
Books I is reading or has read during the last few weeks:

Between East and West --Anne Applefield -- travels along what used to be the borderlands between Russia and Europe.

Closing of the American Mind --- Allan Bloom-- Who are we today and how did we get to this dismal intellectual state?

A Problem from Hell --America and the Age of Genocide -- Samantha Power -- Race Murders in the twentieth century --Armenia Cambodia, Holocaust, Bosnia, the Kurds, Kosovo, Rwanda. But remember genocide goes back much further than the 20th century.

The DaVinci Code-- a great page turner-- a lot about the Catholic Church, the Virgin Mary Cult, Mary Magdellan, Knights Templar, Opus Die...

Starting The Man Without Qualities Robert Musil -- This will be my second time around. .
Greg Peck, Hume Cronim, and Larry Doby all died this week.

Larry Doby's name reminded me of Grand Admiral Karl C. Dönitz, last leader of Nazi Germany; (remember him?)
too bad his middle name wasn't Duncan. mek

born on 9-16-1891 in Berlin, Germany
expired 12-24-1980 in Aumühle-Bilenkamp, Germany age 89

Maria and I will be headed north on Sunday. Looks like we'll be staying in Great Neck after a week at the Montauk Yacht Club with the pension fund. (actually 2 days with the Pension Fund. The other days are on me.) If we have any money left we'll go to Maine at the end of July because I need lobster...

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

Breathing class today. Imagine if my Dad or Grandfather knew that I paid money to learn how to breath. I learned that I am a shallow breather and I will have to learn how to breathe properly--but, Maria and I are going North, so I may not learn before next fall. In the meantime, I'll be holding my breath.
My Dad used to take the family to Toots Shor's for Sunday dinner. My sister and I would have Oysters and a lobster or Roast Beef. Dad always had a scotch and roast beef, I think. The Men's and Lady's room were staffed by a married couple. When my sister and I returned from camp one year, why Hattie and Ozzie weren't in the RestRooms. Apparantly Hattie had shot and killed her husband over another woman. (If I have the names wrong, please correct me). The maitre'd was a pal of my Dad's. His name was Joe Harrison. Corrections appreciated. Reach me at Gratwicker@aol.com
Dinner with Howard and Bill. Talked about Catholic Bishops and reporting of misbehavior by priests. Restaurants. The sad state of the Democratic Party.

Monday, June 16, 2003

the computer draws me and traps me....
Here are my movies to see as of this week.

Man on a train --A mysterious man arrives in a small town in France and is befriended by an elderly retired schoolteacher. 4 1/2 stars out of 5. worth seeing

Man with no Past -- another man gets off a train in Finland and is mugged causing him to totally lose his memory. Contrast the aid he receives from strangers and the aid he fails to get from the State. A very moving and inspiring film. 5 stars out of 5. a must see

The Dancer Upstairs: well-made docudrama (almost a docudrama) about a detective attempting to find a terroist in an unnamed South American country. 3 1/2 stars out of five. worth seeing.

Blue Velvet: Mysterious, violent, psycho-sexual, hidden 5 stars out of five
My job today is to re-file or toss all of my files. At present I have laid them all out on my dining room table in an effort to sort them. Looking at the mass of materials is making me very anxious. Bloggerbasic still hasn't answered me about sprellschek.

Sunday, June 15, 2003

Sent a message to Bloggerbasic asking about sprellchek.
This is the beginning. Fathers Day. June 15, 2003. Ft. Lauderdale.

Oh, oh! I don't see spellchek. This is going to be a problem. I'll have to be very careful.