BusterStronghart@Gmail.com

Time has moved to fast for me to look back, as I have spent my life doing. Ruminating at my many missteps, many mistakes, wrong paths taken leads nowhere. We learn from experience, we keep what we can, but the reality is that there's no way back. The road always lies ahead.
We live towards the future, no one can go back. No matter how much we might like to, once past, no path can be re-tread. "You Can't Go Home Again."

I can't unsay those words, I can't become a nuero-biologist, (if I ever could have), I can't have two more children. I won't ever have that cottage in the mountains. I can go only forward. There's no reverse gear.

I'm not the same boy who loved to run alone in the woods. Not the boy who road his bicycle for hours, not the boy who stood transfixed at the front window of the subway car, looking into the long dark ahead, marked only by a few distant blue lights.

I'm through most of the long dark now, and it hasn't been as exciting as that small eight year old boy thought it would be. It's been only a long tunnel, with several stations along the way. One or two had bright lights.

The boy is still with me. Still dreaming, my eyes wet, my throat tightened...