Monday, June 29, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com
Yesterday


My friend says I was not a good son
you understand
I say yes I understand

he says I did not go
to see my parents very often you know
and I say yes I know

even when I was living in the same city he says
maybe I would go there once
a month or maybe even less
I say oh yes

he says the last time I went to see my father
I say the last time I saw my father

he says the last time I saw my father
he was asking me about my life
how I was making out and he
went into the next room
to get something to give me

oh I say
feeling again the cold
of my father's hand the last time

he says and my father turned
in the doorway and saw me
look at my wristwatch and he
said you know I would like you to stay
and talk with me

oh yes I say

but if you are busy he said
I don't want you to feel that you
have to
just because I'm here

I say nothing

he says my father
said maybe
you have important work you are doing
or maybe you should be seeing
somebody I don't want to keep you

I look out the window
my friend is older than I am
he says and I told my father it was so
and I got up and left him then
you know

though there was nowhere I had to go
and nothing I had to do


W. S.Merwin.

I heard Merwin recite "Yesterday" on Bill Moyers Journal, yesterday, (smile) --
-
Is this what poetry is to do? A lump in my throat? A catching of my breath? Thoughts of my father on his deathbed, looking up at me, also considerate, as though I had something more important to do than to be with him during those last days?
-
- Mr. Merwin, you brought back those feelings that I had then--and more you brought back to me my father, my Dad, as much a part of me as I am myself, a missing part of me, but that still resides in me, Oh, Dad, if only...

Sunday, June 28, 2009

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W.S Merwin on Bill Moyers Journal

"I'd like the last thing I do on earth to be planting a tree. Planting a tree is like putting life back into the world. "
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TODAY'S BIBLE THOUGHT

"Now King David was old and stricken in years: and they covered him with clothes, but he gat no heat. Wherefore his servants said unto him, Let there be sought for my Lord the King a young virgin: and let her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in thy bosom, that the Lord my King may get heat."

Tomorrow, or later, I'll fill in further important details. But, for now think on this passage.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com
Nietzsche says that all relationships must be understood on the basis of power.I do not see this. The idea doesn't resonate with me. The balance of power--who wins who loses in a relationship seems trivial and irrelevant.

As I read my comment I wonder whether I am avoiding a Truth that has been presented to me.

A mans task, Nietzsche says, is to accept himself. It is not to make, force, have others accept him. "your task is to accept yourself--not to find ways to gain acceptance."

Too much time is spent looking in books for the secret of life. I've been talking, reading, writing for the past 60 years. I say "enough!"

I spend my nights in a vicious fury at what I've missed in life--the life I let slip away..God may know what my real calling is--but I don't.

I've squandered my past on non-sense. I've grown old with the smile of a fool on my face. How can a pretty decent life be such a disappointment? My time is past, I'm overworked and jaded. This truth, no matter how bad is worse than uncertainty, but I've dwelt in uncertainity all my life and I'm still there.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com

A friend seeks God on earth. I saw the Bergman Trilogy recently: through a Glass Darkly, The Silence, and Winter Light. Bergman sought the God that he thought he lost by engaging with families, as though it would be in the family that God might be found. The Trilogy deals with families. I doubt that Bergman found a God in those families.

He changed cameraman from Gunner Fisher to Sven Nykvist, and yet, although quite different, these films also have a photographic quality that engages the viewer. Fisher was more of a studio lighting expert and achieved stark expressionist scenes by manipulating the light in the studio--my favorites being the portrait of Death in Seventh Seal, and the greatest portrait in film, in Wild Strawberries, of the old professor on the brink of death, wistfully, sadly looking into a vision of his happy childhood with his parents fishing together at the edge of the sea.

But, the cameraman for the Triology, Sven Nykvist, worked almost strictly with natural light, and his outdoor scenes are marvelous and true.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com

He's so happy-go-lucky that he'll dance under the rope that hung him.

mek

Soon the dance will be ending
We're sure to be missed.
Ah, but I'm not pretending,
It's fun to be kissed.

In the dark we will find
What the rest left behind.
Let them dance, we'll romance
In the da-a-a-ark.

_____________________________


The song is ended
But the melody goes on.

It's no use raking over the past
The ashes have gone cold.


"Pennies from Heaven" -- Denis Potter
BusterStronghart@Gmail.com


For music on your computer--exactly the type you like-- I have discovered an amazing site, that figures out what you like and then plays only your type of music.

Go to www.pandora.com

it's very easy and quick.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com


Logical errors are, I think, of greater practical importance than many people believe; they enable their perpetrators to hold the comfortable opinion on every subject in turn.


Bertrand Russell, A History of Western Philosophy

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com

I am like a truffle pig snuffling among the bottommost shelves of an old book store, seeking some forgotten author's lost volumes. What pleasure.

--

Ah, to wear a suit again, a fine sport jacket, perhaps, four buttons on its sleeve.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com

People don't seem to realize that their opinion of the world is a confession of character.

Friday, June 12, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com

Light up your Life
Find your way when you can,
Turn the switch -- we’re in the dark.
Again.

Mek

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

 


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I've been a specialist in Doubt almost since birth. Paradoxically my Doubt is twinned with Trust. Cynicism has played no part in my life.

But I tread water in the Sea of Skepticism.


mek

Monday, June 08, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com

FOUND IN AN OLD COMPUTER: FROM 2002

I do not read anything of AWAD but the daily word itself. I did not know that there was a book. We are in Great Neck since June staying at a friend's apartment who has a place in the Hamptons. We have brought Florida weather with us. Sorry.

My studies of Leopold II temporarily put aside, I am now reading Ben Hecht's autobiography which brings back many of the names of my youth, unknown by anyone of your generation except, of course, you, names like Sherwood Anderson, Charles MacAurthur, Fanny Brice, Gene Fowler, Billy Rose, Mike Ben Ami (Israeli gun runner,) William Frawley, David Bellasco (now you know who the theater is named for--he was a producer) Red Grange, Hugo Haase*--I didn't know the name either--anyway a hoard of names was buried deep in my mind, and mining them has been fun, not the back breaking work that usually accompanies my literary "studies" when I must struggle to learn new names. Recovering the old ones is easier, and the slagheap shrinks.

Of course, there are many others mentioned in Hecht’s book who are still known names, but what interests me is the number of names who were important in Hecht's day who have been forgotten by Everyone, and who were not even known in the fifties. At least not known by me in the fifties. Fame is, indeed, fleeting.

Maria knew one of the names: Bill Frawley.

Well, here's a factoid for you: Sherwood Anderson died on shipboard after swallowing a toothpick in an hors d'oeuvre sausage. So much for toothpicks & sausage, eh?



Much of my reading this spring and summer has emphasized the inhumanity of man, and we are reminded that it is nothing new. You can read about it in the Bible, some of the inhumanity ordered by God Himself. Gross told me a little about the un-Godlike punishments delineated in the Bible but I didn’t pay attention until I began to read about the other genocides we’ve lived through.

Strange, eh? Well, Leopold and his minions were no pikers when it came to elemental bestial horror, and with these biographies under my belt "Heart of Darkness” gets a new reading, the horror now being the Belgians and Europeans rather than the Africans. It’s not as though the Africans learned much from us, they had some of their own home-grown horrors, but it is true that bestial behavior on earth isn’t limited to the beasts, nor is it limited to Saddam, Stalin and Hitler.

Gross has moved from his study of religion to a new study of science based on his reading of science written for the “educated layman.” Well, we may not be properly educated, but we are laymen. He mentioned his astonishment at the miracle of our presence on earth, considering all the mischance that could have occurred going back millions of years even before there was a man who could be inhumane to his fellow creatures.

Eons of evolution brought us to the human state and at any minute during all those eons the path leading to humanity could have been obliterated; then more eons when anyone of our ancestors could have been killed or could have died of illness before having the offspring that would lead to us.

For this alone, we should give more honor to our grandparents and those before them. Look at me—in effect the penultimate of the Katz line—it doesn’t look as though Aaron will have any more children and most likely Max will remain childless. So, there’s no more Katz’.

But all the ones before us struggled, starved, froze, planted, hunted, star gazed, humbled themselves (or didn’t), just so that you and I could be here worrying about our weight or a tax increase. How many times did we hide in the woods, hearing our neighbors being raped and killed? Look, we’re just dots in the universe and lucky dots at that.

So why are we so bad to each other? Jerry, the fellow in whose apartment we are staying, had a daughter who died of cancer in her thirties. Right now he is having an air conditioning problem. I remarked that Maria and I felt bad for him, and he answered, with more than a lump in his throat and a tear in his eye, that after losing a daughter he was able to focus on the real, the good and the important. According to Jerry, air conditioning filters don’t fit into any of those categories.

Genocide: A case may be made that the first genocide was God's killing of the first born Egyptians. Since then genocide has been a popular method of taking control of land or getting rid of neighbors.

The twentieth century has seen plenty of genocidal terrors--starting early in the century with the Turkish eradication of the Armenians. Americans stood by and allowed it to happen, denying all the time that it was happening, in spite of Ambassador Morgenthau's warnings, protests, and pleadings with our Congress. We wanted to maintain a delicate relationship with the Otttoman Empire and so we said nothing. We've always found diplomatic or policy rationalizations for ignoring humanity in need. Need I remind you of Cambodia, Bosnia or Rwanda?




A Problem from Hell -- America and the Age of Genocide -- Samantha Power -- Race Murders in the twentieth century --Armenia Cambodia, Holocaust, Bosnia, the Kurds, Kosovo, Rwanda. But remember genocide goes back much further than the 20th century.

Leopold II of the Belgians, King of Colonialism -- Barbara Emerson.
Leopold owned the Congo personally and his evil is painted herein by a silken brush.

King Leopold's Ghost: Adam Hochschild. Genocide and plunder in the Congo. Money making for the very rich and unconcerned.


*Hugo Haase was a German hero-politician of the twenties and thirties who chose to stand up to the Weimar Government when it massacred two thousand Germans in Moabit prison and later chose to stand up to the Nazis and was assassinated for it on the steps of the German Parliament.


Well, its late. I’m going to call my granddaughter Remi, and give her a hug over the phone.

Buster Stronghart

Sunday, June 07, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com

A Different Perspective on Health Care


There are many letters I could quote, but let me give you a counter for the statistics from last week from Raoul Pal of Spain. And of course, there are other statistics that can be brought in to make almost any case you want. But I found these to be very thought-provoking.

"Using the Economists World in Figures I think there is a very interesting and maybe appalling story to tell. In its simplest terms a healthcare system is there to extend the longevity of live of the population. It is the single best and simplest way to judge it because we can all find examples of where one country is better than another but the longevity stats don't lie. When we use that framework the picture is incredibly different. The US has many of the best doctors and medical care in the world but it doesn't work for the population as a whole and therein lies the problem.

"According to the Economist the total US spend on healthcare is 15.4% of GDP including both state and private . With that it gets 2.6 doctors per 1,000 people, 3.3 hospital beds and its people live to an average age of 78.2

"UK - spends 8.1% of GDP, gets 2.3 doctors, 4.2 hospital beds and live to an average age of 79.4. So for roughly half the cost their citizens overall get about the same benefit in terms of longevity of life.

"Canada - spends 9.8% of GDP on healthcare, gets 2.1 doctors, 3.6 hospital beds and live until they are 80.6 yrs

"Now if we look at the more social model in Europe the results become even more surprising:

"France - spends 10.5%, 3.4 docs, 7.5 beds and live until they are 80.6

"Spain - spends 8.1% , 3.3 docs , 3.8 beds and live until they are 81

"As a whole Europe spends 9.6% of GDP on healthcare, has 3.9 doctors per 1,000 people, 6.6 hospital beds and live until they are 81.15 years old.

"The list goes on. The truth is that in many cases as is pointed out the healthcare system is better in the US than in some other countries BUT US citizens must therefore get ill more often than any other country in the West in order to achieve the truly appalling statistic that they are the 41 longest living nation on earth with France, Spain, Norway, Switzerland, Italy, Austria, Andorra, Holland, Greece and Sweden all featuring in the top 20 longest living nations and the UK and Germany at 22.

"This is the big failure of the US system. It is unforgivable. You may get a better chance of recovering from certain diseases but as a whole you will die younger in the US than most developed countries. ... Something is severely broken."

I had many letters from all over the world on this issue both pro and con. And some very lively discussions with health professionals. One pointed out to me that the uninsured in the US when they need a doctor often go to an emergency room for what should be a $50 office visit and end up with a $5,000 bill, which does not get paid and runs up insurance costs for those who do have it. As Dr. Mike Roizen points out in his many books, simply eating right, exercising and other common sense things would cut out much of our health care costs. When one-third of children in elementary schools are overweight, we need to get a grip on what we are doing to the next generation.

In the US, many of us are worried about government rationed health care. Others are worried that they have no access to health care at all. It is a very complicated issue. Let's hope that whatever Congress does really does help. And that the coming revolution in new medicines and procedures gets here as soon as it can for all of us.

John Maudlin
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Scotty was just about the only Florida Friend I have made.

He was a Wall Street kid who like to brag that he had made a few fortunes and lived in Paris, Miami, LA, and NY. He started with a high school education, never went to college. He and a friend started a small over-the-counter brokerage house with no money. Then they made a lot of money in the days when brokers could mark up stocks as they pleased.

He's been all over the world. He married very early and divorced very early. Since then he's been a bon vivant, playing the market and losing a lot of money along the way. He ended a renter at Southpoint, but a few years ago made enough money to move next door into Hermitage, the best of Ft. Lauderdale, and maybe Miami and PB too. The only thing wrong with Hermitage is that it's in Ft. Lauderdale.

He gave Aaron some business.

But his real activity was in commodities and very esoteric derivatives. He managed to go broke during the recent debacle--but was confident that he would come back. He told me that he had been broke several times before.

About five years ago he had a CA lung problem but read deeply into the literature, and decided for something that he called the Cyber Knife. He was okay for the last five years, but six months ago his doctors insisted that he had to take chemo &/or radiation or he would have only six months.

He took the six months. Five and one-half of them were pretty good. He died a few weeks ago.

He had a girl-friend, a Frenchie from Quebec. They had lived together but also lived apart on and off for about 25 years. He met her here at Southpoint--

She was with him solid for the past five years, but lived in Deerfield. During his six month death wait she lived in his apartment with him. They went to Rome, Bermuda and Nova Scotia, but mostly stayed here.

He had a brother who is "very well off" (Scotty's description) and lives in Baltimore. They didn't speak for many years. I don't know why. There were no other relatives.

When he died Frenchie, was there. He was in her arms.

She arranged for his cremation and called the brother. The brother came, told her to take the ashes, and then told her to get out of the apartment. (I would guess 1.5 million dollars, maybe a little less.)

A search for a will turned up nothing.

I can't believe it. It's the same as with Hal. Both Hal and Scottie knew that they were dying. Why didn't they take care of the ones they loved?

The brother will gets whatever is left. I have a feeling, however, that it will be very close to nothing. Scottie was the type who wouldn't hesitate to mortgage everything.

Frenchie, a devoted and very honest woman would not take anything--not even Scott's watch or a ring that he always wore.

Okay, now there's another part:

Frenchie decided to take the ashes and spread them out in the sea in front of Hermitage. This is fitting as Scottie used to call himself "The Beach Lover" and could often be seen back stroking up and down the beach, a few miles, almost every calm day. If he wasn't swimming he would be on the beach, sunning himself, and achieved, as you might see in the photos, a very deep tan--the kind of tan that Dad would get.

I asked Scottie what part of Russia his folks came from, as I have a very retro theory of racial physiognomy.

I believe that facial types and body characteristics exist and that only the recent (last 100 years) of racial and ethnic mixing have melted away these recognizable characteristics. My theory would be called eugenic and racist these days so keep it to yourself. Calling it retro is a euphemism.

I have seen many men with Dad's forehead and eyebrows, the line of his mouth and chin, his thin hair and his hairline. I believe that they all came from the same part of Russia, or the same Jewish clan even further back.

So Frenchie took his ashes to the verge of the sea one morning at six AM. She wanted to be alone, so I got up and watched from my terrace. I saw her come to the beach before sun-up, and so she waited, sitting on the sand, a small paper bag at her side.

When the sun peaked over the horizon she waited a few more minutes, and then went into the water, about knee deep and spread the ashes very carefully into the sea. She went back to the beach, sat down and waited about five more minutes. Then she took some roses out of the bag and spread them out over the ashes.

She turned her back to the sea and went over the dunes and disappeared from my view.

Immediately, on her disappearance, a second woman, a blond, about sixty, dressed in Capri pants, a pink blouse, and Jackie Kennedy sunglasses appeared from the north. She walked exactly to the spot in the ocean where Frenchie had spread the roses and the ashes and placed herself in what would have been the middle of the ashes and the roses.

She stirred up the water with her hands, as though attempting to wash herself with Scottie's ashes. She splashed some of the water on her body and on her face.

After a few moments she turned around and walked away, northwards, up the beach. I watched her as long as I could but then, she too disappeared.

Later that morning Frenchie had a small memorial service for Scott at Hermitage, over looking the beach.

The woman in pink did not appear.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com

The idea of death is something which is never in my grasp. Bewildering. I muse on it much of the time, and yet it still eludes. I do not seek a meaning of death, I seek an understanding, a description.

mek

Monday, June 01, 2009

BusterStronghart@Gmail.com

‘The final instant, which in one final stroke will
erase your whole life, will itself be lost, with all
the rest, in the great abyss of nothingness. No
trace of what we are will remain on earth: the
flesh will change its nature; the body will take
on another name; even that of corpse will not
long remain. “it will become,” said Tertullian,
“a strange something that no longer has a name
in any language. “ ‘