BusterStronghart@Gmail.com
On Lovers:
I have thought about this problem for many years. I see that many people are committed to the "ideal" of lifetime commitment, but as a man who has known a few women, I feel differently about marriage, I just couldn't bring myself to join those who want to live with one person for forty or fifty years without involving themselves with any other member of the opposite sex.
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People are too interesting. Confining one's self to one person within a box barely justifies living the one life we are given to live.
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This is not to say that marriage cannot be fulfilling. I would want to be married to a lifelong partner (as I am, although in a continuation of what I now call my second marriage) but, although I love her more deeply than ever, I would not want to have known only her.
Friendships and relationships deeper than friendship are necessary.
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I love this question and all the similar ones. It's time for folks to understand that that the day of puritanism is over.
ReplyDeleteMy husband of over thirty years has kept a mistress for many of those years. He loves me,I love him, we have a solid family. Our children are with him every night,every holiday & birthday. We love him and he loves us.
There are other men who are open about their other relationships--but many men don't want to go through the crying, the bitterness of divorce, the loss of family, not to say the destruction of the lives of their children.
Ease off wives. Many men are not built for a long life with one woman--and I agree with Cuban Eyes that I wouldn't want a man who was afraid to live his life or who would suppress his needs just to keep me happy.-
Those needs, by the way, are not limited to sexual needs. The other woman fulfills emotional needs as well. Anyone who believes that we have only one soul mate, that we can love only one person is living in an adolescent dreamworld.
Loving people need to love many people. It's OK.
I have lived through this. I was the other woman and I don't regret a moment of the relationship. He was a great guy and I think he loved his wife. She was not a warm woman, but after her husband was with me she suddenly found how nice and warm she could be. Many people won't understand this, but I think that I performed a service for his (and her) family. They are back together and suddenly she acts as though she loves him. All that had to happen was that she thought she had lost her husband. ... then she woke up and found him. ...Thank me!
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